Martha Gets Religious (about writing)

Nothing brings out unsolicited advice like the declaration: "I'm working on a novel."

"What about?" strangers/friends/family ask.

It doesn't matter what you say, they will offer friendly advice. You could literally quote Genesis, and you'd get the response, "Wouldn't it be cool if you make the universe is three days instead? Three days seems more urgent."

Pile that advice on top of whatever you get from your critique group, writing friends, writing forums, seminars, and Oprah.

That's a lot of advice. The only way to anchor yourself in your story is to keep a central tenant of writing commandments. Things you know in your heart to be true about the world, about writing, and about yourself. Things you will not compromise on even as your story grows and changes under the care of others. Things that keep your story yours.

Martha's 10 Writing Commandments To Herself. Not To You.

1. Thou shalt have a female main character point of view. No offense to guys. But there's enough from your point of view in this world.

2. Thou shalt try thy bestest not to let any characters bite their lips. At least not until thou makest a friend who actually does bite her lip. Because really, thou doesn't knowest anyone who does this in real life.

3. Thou shalt not have two women fighting over a joint male romantic-interest. If the two woman shall fight, it shalt be over something substantial. And interesting. Not a dude.

4. Thy characters shall not have pets, unless they intend to eat said pet, or do something grotesquely interesting to said pet, because otherwise all they will do is feed and pet said pet, and what do you really have to say that is interesting about pet ownership? Nothing.

5. Thou shalt not write a character having a dream. Thou knowest that listening to someone's dreams is hella annoying, even when they are thine own. So why make someone pay to read them? (I should note - I have written characters waking up from nightmares but not in the process of having them. It's a thin line, but they're my commandments, so I'm cool with it.)

6. Thou shall write characters of ethnic diversity but not dwell on said ethnic diversity creating a "we are all the same at heart" message because thou knowest, as someone of diversity, that thou feels this message is total sentimental crap undervaluing the very point of diversity in that difference is beautiful and not something to be feared. Besides, when was the last time thou wantest to be the same as anyone? Never.

7. Thou shall keep thy word count under 60,000. Nothing thou hasest to say is interesting enough to hit 100,000 words. Ever.

8. Thou shall make thy books as awesome as possible. Thou knowest thy is asking for Publishers to invest hundreds of thousands of dollars in personnel, materials and overhead to produce said work so make thou shit worth hundreds of thousand of dollars.

9. Thou shalt write whatever the hellest thy wants. Else, what's the point?

10. Thou shall make holy any day thy wantest to rest. Because again. See above.