I don’t do resolutions. No more half-assed promises to cut back on drinking while swilling champagne on New Year’s Eve (then reiterating New Year’s day while chugging a Bloody Mary to chase off the hangover and champagne still sloshing in my stomach).
No more resolutions to lose weight, which usually only held until I’d lost the five pounds I’d gained between Thanksgiving and New Years.
I left resolutions behind going for a more kinder, gentler type of resolve. And for a few years, I tried...intentions. They’re a little more friendly, a little less intense somehow than resolutions. Except, they didn’t really work. Unfortunately, for me anyway, intend comes off as a little wishy-washy.
What I finally discovered about myself is that I need cold, hard--black and white, bold-faced-–GOALS.
Awhile back I had a life coach which was a heck of a good decision www.kristincoach.com One of the first things of the new year was to come up with a Master Goal list in eight key areas of your life. (She recommends 5-15 goals per category). So for about two weeks, I would read thru her examples, ideas for the list sparking my own personal goals and create a Master Goal list for the year.
I like lists. I like being able to tick off milestones and small tasks equally. There is just as much satisfaction in a bunch of little tasks being completed as finishing off a big one. One of the other things Kristin recommends is breaking the large goals down into steps needed to achieve the goal. This makes a big goal seem not as daunting. Finally, post the goal list or keep it somewhere handy where you can refer back to it.
Looking through last year’s list, I did pretty good on some and not so great on others. However, there was improvement and I can feel good about those things I ticked off the list. Meanwhile, the goals that I didn’t meet will most likely migrate over to this year’s list. Nothing to feel bad about, after all, we are all just work in progress.
Lisa
8 comments:
I like the intentions.. resolutions are too restrictive and depressing.
Goals are so much better because they are a "yes" rather than a "no" - more of this rather than less of that. And keeping a revolving list does help, to my great surprise. I started keeping one on mac calendar and was amazed to see that eventually i generally *do* get everythign done - just never as quickly as I first think i will.
Right there with ya on the champagne conundrum....
Shelby--isn't great that different things work for different people? :)
Sophie--you and champagne-really? *snicker*
I love goals... My goal is to get through today and figure out what the hell I'm going to do with this scene! :)
Of course now that you've explained what a life coach does, and the advice they would give us, we don't really need to go see one. We just need to make lists, which is one of my favorite things to do. and it's free! and I love free.
By the way did you call her (your life coach) "coach"? and did she refer to you by last name only? I'd like to think so, and it really fits in with the goals theme.
Lisa, that's a great way of putting it! If you don't have a plan/map, it's much harder to find your way to your goal...
Sophie -- love the Yes!!!
I used to hate lists, but now I'm too old and can't trust my memory (or maybe it's just so full of movie trivia that nothing else fits?).
Guess it is time to start writing things down :)
Thank you to all the Pens Fatales for an inspiring 2009 and a fabulous 2010!!!!
Mysti
Tom--
there was actually a lot more to it. I had a weekly goal sheet that i submitted, we kept track of what I completed, what I didn't and explored why I didn't complete the tasks I'd set out for myself, looking for reasons beyond 'too busy'. her job is to help you figure out why you aren't succeeding in certain areas of your life. I really found her helpful. :)
Mysti--
thanks to you for being a faithful reader... love seeing your comments!
Lisa
Lisa,
It wasn't too long ago when I realized I had no goals, heck, I barely I had a life outside of the family activities. I had just had one of those life changing situations where I had to take stock and decide what I wanted to do next. Unfortunately I had no clue. I didn't know what I wanted. I could think of a few things I didn't want: To be alone, to be alone with no money, to continue following everyone else's goals. But that doesn't help you figure out what you want. It may seem crazy to others, but I have always been very goal oriented and achieved all of my goals early on. I had the great job and made lots of money, I married and had a boy and a girl. I had the nice home and vacation home. Enough money to be comfortable if we didn't overspend. I never thought past any of that. Do we really need goals in all stages of our lives? Until the day we die? Is that part of our being human? So in the last few years I have actually tried to focus on what I want. It's harder than it looks. And I still haven't came up with anything concrete. Okay, since I want to win the raffle, my resolution this year is to loosen up. I take everything way too seriously(can you tell?). Loosen up on the tennis court, loosen up at home with the family, and especially with friends and acquaintances. Can I do it? I have no idea. I will take it one day at a time.
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