French Kiss

--by Juliet

Below is a actual conversation between me and a French friend:

Me (while munching on French fries): Why are these called French fries?

Him (shrugging in a Gallic fashion): They are fried potatoes, pommes frites, nothing especially French about them.

Me: How about French vanilla?

Him: Another shrug.

Me: French kissing?

Him: Ah! Now we are getting somewhere interesting. Baiser avec la langue is the only way for lovers to kiss, no? This, my country will take credit for: c'est le bise amoureux.

Me: I don't understand. You're saying your people invented this form of kissing? In Wikipedia it says the French used to call it baiser florentin, or Florentine kissing.

Him (snorting and saying many fast words in French while throwing up his hands in exasperation): This is ridiculous. Italians. They are always taking credit for the most wonderful inventions of the French.

Me: So you're saying that French kissing is truly French in origin?

Him: I don't really understand the question. What I would like to know is this: what in the world is 'American cheese'? Is it actually...cheese?

Excellent question. Probably we should all stick to kissing. It's healthier.