I've been the lead in a small production play. I performed in a student-teacher hip hop workshop. I've done piano recitals. But my friends and family have never seen these performances - because I've never invited them.
Why? Because I'm awful. I mean it. I'm not one for false modesty. I really, really, really suck ass, but I like the high and fortunately I don't give a rat's ass about what strangers think.
Unfortunately, it's becoming harder to keep a sekrit life. One of these days I'm going to find my shame all over youtube which sucks. Sometimes you want to break free of you who are 99% of the time and give in to the crazy 1% without having to deal with questions/comments/judgments from your well-meaning friends and family.
Sometimes you want to be bad at something. You don't want permission or acceptance. You just want to stink your life up a little.
Think back on your childhood memories. Heart-pounding embarrassment trumps daily grind all the time.
So I say go ahead. Give yourself permission to be mortified.
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1 comment:
but martha, one of my favorite things about you is your willingness to try - seemingly - anything!!!! (you know that I so want to write p- p- po- pol-.....)
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