Living in the State of Grace

by Lisa Hughey

Grace is an ephemeral concept, a fleeting state which can elude us in moments of frustration or surprise us in moments of stress.

I live in a state of chaos most days.

There is order in my chaos (sort of) appointments, sports events, meetings, volunteering, reminders to do this or pick up that are faithfully recorded in my Blackberry. When I’m out I can check to make sure I’m not missing anything important and keep on target. The handy device holds my mind and my calendar, keeps me sane and on track.

The downside of this is I’ve moved to a place where writing is a chore to be ticked off, an item to cross out when I’ve met my goal for the day. And I realized that grace goes hand in hand with joy.

Whenever I’m frustrated with the world around me, I think, if I moved somewhere (Portland has been appealing to me lately) anywhere other than where I am, things would be better. Less frantic, less competitive, less expensive, less crazy, less everything and filled with more grace.

In lucid moments, I realize moving really isn’t the answer to my frustrations and fears. And that true peace will only arrive if I can find and hold onto that elusive state of grace.

Instead of chastising myself for being late because I got caught up in a scene, I celebrate the fact that I got caught up in writing. Instead of yelling at my son for forgetting about a cooking project due in fifteen hours, we trekked to the grocery store and cooked together and bonded over everything from literature to history.

Instead of lamenting the fact that I am an abysmal failure at belly dancing, I’m giving thanks for having access to a teacher, that I’m learning something new, and I’m doing something fun. I come home from class exhilarated and joyful. I’ve been trying to cultivate the appreciation for those moments of grace.

And slowly, but surely I’m moving to the State of Grace...anyone want to come with me?