
Hope the New Year brings love, laughter and happiness!!
LOVE, THE PENS
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| There's a party goin' on right here. |
When I was growing up, we had a very set method of celebrating Christmas. It didn't ever change, and I reveled in the comfort of it.
by Sophie
by Gigi
On May 3, 1998, Le Chemin de Sevres, a painting by Camille Corot worth $1.3 million, was sliced from its frame. No alarms sounded. Nobody even saw the thief.

I had already been interested in art theft in mystery novels (e.g. Elizabeth Peters' Vicky Bliss mysteries) but this experience cemented my fascination. I was thrilled to discover Hailey Lind's art lover's mystery series a few years ago -- written under a pen name by the Pens' own Juliet Blackwell -- which happens to be how I got involved with these writers who formed the Pens Fatales.


I love museums. Any and all museums, except maybe The Three Stooges Museum, which I’ve only heard about from my husband, who adores it and the Stooges. I have never loved the Stooges. Enough said. But any other museum – I probably love it.
Me in a museum in Avignon
I’m sure it comes as a whopping surprise to folks that, as with other things I love, such as road trips, maps, and jam-making, an excess of methodical, relentless perseverance is my preferred modus operandi when visiting museums. None of this half an hour at a time crap for me. Sorry, Juliet. That’s for you people with social lives. I’m basically a recluse --and no, I don’t have major OCD issues. Really. If I go to a museum, odds are I spent a fair bit of time and effort getting there, so I mean to make the most of it.
There is the added advantage that once in a museum, you rarely have to talk to anyone.
There are, however, a few drawbacks to my approach to museums. They are:
1. Other people think you are insane. Other people traveling with you are rarely willing to inter themselves in any museum, no matter how great, for upwards of eight hours at a time. Wieners. My husband’s most admirable trait: he can spend longer in a museum than I can. Which leads to…
2. ...Don’t try to take romantic trips any place there are museums. We spent a week in Florence for our honeymoon. I only remember the museums andthe gelato. And…
3. ...Museum Foot. This is what happens when you shuffle through vast museums sucking in everything paying no attention to how you are moving. Drag. Ooohhh. Stop. Admire. Think. Glance back. Glance forward. Ooohhh. Drag. Wow. Stop. Admire. Think. Cry. Whatever. Repeat for four to five hours. Find cafeteria. Caffeinate. Put protein in. Back to work. Drag. Ooohhh. Stop. Drag. Ooohh. Stop. Repeat until they kick you out. By the end of the day, your feet feel like you’ve run a marathon, then had your toes trod on by a mammoth. In fact, you’ve never moved faster than a sloth all day. Walking the same distance would be a breeze by comparison because you would use your muscles the way they are designed to be used. Clearly, we did not evolve to appreciate the Uffizi Gallery in two days. Even when young.
Me with fellow Museum Foot sufferers at the Rodin Museum
That’s it for the drawbacks.
Some of the most rewarding museums are the smaller ones, those local places that sent all their good stuff to the state capital or a big national museum. Possibly they never had any good stuff to begin with, so they collected what they could and slapped up a museum sign. One of my favorites is the Adams Museum in the town where I was born, Deadwood, South Dakota. (Seriously.) They had some decent stuff, even back when I was a kid, some good Wild West photos, lots of examples of barbed wire, and a load of creepy taxidermy. We went once a year when we visited my grandparents in the Black Hills.
The best exhibit, bar none, was the miniature diorama of a nudist community constructed out of popsicle sticks. I am not kidding, people. Someone local must have made it and donated it. I’m not sure the point was to make a nudist colony, or if that was just a by-product of the limitations of the construction materials. For years on end, my cousins, sibs and I would gawk, point and collapse in silent laughter as we studied the yards and yards of rolling green grass and stick people going about their business in the buff, all inside big lighted cases. Somebody in Deadwood had a sense of humor back in the seventies. God bless ‘em.
The Adams Museum has been renovated at least a few times since then, and the diorama in the basement was gone the last time I was there. Thankfully, the world is full of museums exhibiting similar testaments to questionable taste and generous estimations of intrinsic value. Thank heavens we don’t all have to make it into The Met.
My brother, stricken with an acute case of Museum Foot at Versailles
Finally, the answer to the question in the title is that Museum Foot is always better because it means you spent the day in a museum rather than on your knees scrubbing something.




It's funny to me that Sophie and I have such different museum methods. Do we all? The fingerprints of the art world, each one unique?
by Sophie
Museum of Art in St. Louis
Study by Drurer
Cezanne - Blue Vase


Gigi is…well, darn. What is Gigi exactly?
Gigi walked away from a PhD program when it got too tedious, moved to the Bay Area, met the love of her life, and started working as a graphic designer –not for one of the ubiquitous tech companies crowding out the area, but for the ACLU. She works for the organization dedicated to defending the Bill of Rights. Yes, Gigi’s Just. That. Cool.
The other night Gigi sat across from me at dinner and confessed, over wine, that she and her partner share a “geeky commitment to changing the world” by working for non-profits and pursuing art and writing and cooking up all sorts of schemes that I won’t divulge here. Suffice it to say that our Gigi dreams big. And the best part is, I have no doubt that she’s going to achieve those dreams, and change our world for the better. 
But Martha? Every experience, every interaction, goes through the Martha-filter and comes out fascinating. (Don't worry, I'm getting to the compliment part - if you haven't figured it out yet, a week and a half into this grand experience, we're all pretty much crazy about each other.) A cheeseburger, it turns out, is not the admittedly delicious assemblage of bun and meat and cheese that I've loved all these years - it is in fact a QUEST deserving of serious attention and vigorous city-scouring. A social note is not a folded piece of paper but a precise marriage of paper stock and design. A book - a book! No book is just a book; Martha can analyze and interpret and read between lines and consider the reader and discuss its merits, all without ever losing the joy of just reading it in the first place.
She's marvelously self-possessed and confident - and then you discover she has this crazy little fan-girl streak that renders her nearly incapacitated in the presence of someone she admires. (But we took care of that, Pens, didn't we?)
She has this one darling expression - my favorite, I'll confess. It's her "wheels-turning" face. Ask her anything - really! the 80th digit of pi or whether you ought to break up with that guy you're seeing or if you should get the shoes in patent or suede - and she does this one-eye-narrowed, slightly-frowny-mouth thing...and sometimes she actually *says* "hmmm..." and well, I always feel like the balance of the universe hangs on the answer. And that it'll be unimpeachably accurate.